So. This is it. I've been planning this for about a year and now it's really here. Tomorrow I will be set apart as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
A lot of things have led me to this decision. Some of it was watching other friends going on missions and feeling left out. Some of it was because it's been drilled into my head that I can go on a mission. When I was younger, my parents would always say, "WHEN you go on a mission," not "IF you go on a mission." I grew up believing that it was my responsibility to go on a mission. It wasn't until I was a Beehive that I learned that I had a choice.
A mission didn't even come into my plans until a few years ago. I watched my surrogate brother leave on his mission and, later on, saw three of my best friends go, all at the same time. I missed them all so much, and then thought, "Hey, I could serve a mission if I wanted to!"
I started thinking about what steps I would have to take, but 21 was still a year and a half away. Then came the announcement. Y'all know which one I'm talking about. Suddenly my plans changed drastically. Instead of waiting another year, I could leave for my mission after the semester was over! I panicked a little bit and spent a few days in prayer, ending with the decision that I was going to serve a mission.
Things happened-months passed, papers were in, call was sent to me. California! It's where my mom served and one of my closest friends is serving right now. The excitement was almost too much.
I went through the rest of the semester not really thinking about what I could do to prepare for my mission. Near the end of the semester, I felt like school was just distracting me from my mission! What I really wanted was to leave. But I don't think I understood exactly what "leaving" entails.
For me, leaving means saying goodbye to my family. Saying goodbye to my brother in particular will be the hardest, I think. Leaving also means I may not see many of my college friends again. Things may happen, people change and move to other states; they move on to another stage of their life. Leaving also means limiting my communication with those I love. I don't think there was a day last spring where I didn't call or text my mom.
As I was experiencing these first feelings of excitement and anticipation, a lot of doubts also came to mind. What if I wasn't good enough? What if I was too tired to get up early (a legit concern for me)? What if I didn't get along with my companion? Would I be able to emotionally do this exhausting mission?
But every time I start feeling doubtful, a serene voice of comfort comes into my heart. I CAN do this. I WILL do this. It is where the Lord needs me at this time, and I will serve with all my heart.
I know things will work out for me. I know that everything will be okay. I will see my family again, and they will be exactly the same as when I left them. I will change people's lives. I will be forever friends with those I meet in the mission.
Now, as I end to go eat Mac n Cheese with my brother and sister at 11:11 PM, I know things will work out. As I sit here on the night before, I really do believe that I will be okay. Heavenly Father will help me through this. He has never failed me.
I am ready to be a representative of the Lord Jesus Christ and His Gospel. Bring it on!!!
